Balancing your masculine and feminine energies.


In this blog I dive into discussing the juicy topic of our masculine and feminine energies. What they are and how they affect the way we live our lives. If you feel you need some more balance in your life, a bit more yin to your yang then this blog post is for you!

As I delve deeper into the self development world it fuels my fire to share everything I learn and fall in love with along the way. I’m sure everyone reading this at some point in your life may have found yourself in a situation where afterwards you wished you had acted in a different way. Or perhaps felt more in control of expressing how you felt? I certainly in the past have made many mistakes unconsciously. I did my best at that time given the knowledge that I had, hindsight is a wonderful thing! but I am hoping that this blog post will give you some insight. What space are you making thoughts, decisions and taking action from? Awareness is always the first step to change. I hope this blog may give you some self awareness to help you create the outcomes and ultimately create the life you want to live.

So lets dive in and see how to put this into action. Have you ever cried in front of someone and wished you had the strength to hold it inside? Have you ever shouted at someone and wished you’d just not said anything because your shouting maybe hurt the other person and it certainly did not help you achieve the outcome that you wished for? Have you ever wished you were more confident, creative or assertive? The list goes on, you get the picture. You do not need to wish for a different life you can create it by becoming more aware of what space you are taking action from.

Learning about my masculine and feminine energies really helped me obtain a deeper level of self knowledge. Understanding, awareness and self knowledge are the steps to personal growth. Growth is the path to inner peace.

Our masculine and feminine energy affects the way we think, act and live our lives. If our energies are out of balance it can affect our careers, relationships and life paths. Masculine and feminine energies have nothing to do with gender or sexual preference. We all have these energies inside of us. Some of us however due to up bringing, conditioning, life experiences, parents etc may have lived our lives with either a more dominant masculine or a more dominant feminine energy.

Lets break it down and discuss the masculine and feminine energy traits…

A human that lives with a dominant masculine energy would be self-focused, analytical, competitive, loves structure, very determined, self reliant, may think they can do things better than others, problem solving, logical, risk taker, defensive, works alone, target driven, lives in a state of doing.

A human that lives with a dominant feminine energy would be creative, caring, lives in a state of being, nurturing, magnetic, goal setting but can surrender to the outcome, community focused, likes to collaborate or do team work, magnetic, trusting, gentle, kind, open, lives in a state of flow and is guided by their intuition.

Let me make it clear that the masculine or feminine energies are both of equal importance. To live with a balance of both is the key to a happy fulfilled life.



If I use myself as an example maybe you can identify with some of these things? My Mother and Father divorced when I was very young and I grew up living with my Mum. I used to see my Dad once a week. My Dad was a business man. He saw things very black and white and never really would identify with his emotions or feelings. He lived completely in his masculine energy driven by logic, facts, targets and hard work. My Mum on the other hand was the total opposite. She was a nurse, was very creative and in touch with her emotions. She lived in her feminine energy as she was light hearted, caring, creative, imaginative. She did also have a good balance of masculine as she worked full time and brought up 4 children and had to ensure we were all looked after. This involved a lot of hard work and structure. In her work life I imagine she operated in her masculine energy and in her home life more her feminine.

Whilst I was a child I was very much operating in my feminine energy. I used to sing, play the piano, paint and dance. These are all creative, expressive actions coming from a strong feminine flow state. As I matured I had a strong desire to please my Father as I only saw him once a week and even if he was really happy about something he is not the most expressive man. Once I reached my twenties I felt the pressure and responsibility to get a good job, to earn a lot of money. I used to work two jobs a day and lived in a permeant ‘doing’ mode. Never from a state of just being. There was no flow in my life, it was always go, go, go. I remember I would rarely relax. I would work or party 24/7, burning the candle at both ends. Even when I traveled and worked abroad I would party all night and work all day, rarely taking down time. I developed health problems and had severe acid reflux resulting in visits to the ENT at Leeds General Infirmary and 1 years worth of visits to a speech and language therapist as I had so much damage to my throat. I was not in touch with my body, my health or happiness. I lived for the moment. Whilst this was fun, I was completely out of balance and this reflected in my health.

As I moved into my late twenties I gained bit more balance but I still was operating strongly in my masculine energy. I felt the pressure to please my Father and because he operated strongly in his masculine energy I mirrored this for his approval. This was ok at first but for me personally it only lasted for so long before I became burnt out, stressed and was taking action from a mindset of scarcity and fear rather than love. A mindset of scarcity and fear means that I am motivated to work hard and make money because if I don’t I fear letting people down, not earning enough money to live, not being successful. Acting from a place of love would mean working hard because I love my career, I am excited about life, I see opportunity all around me and can’t wait to embrace it.

I noticed I was reaching burnout and that going to work just didn’t seem fun. In fact nothing seemed that fun because it was from a place of fear not love. My health reasons even though they were bad at the time upon reflection now I am actually grateful. Our bodies are always speaking to us but sometimes we are just to busy to listen. This was my bodies incredible way of asking me to stay true to myself, to re-gain more balance. To act from a place of love. To not only embrace my feminine flow but to be more myself. I realised I couldn’t live my whole life trying to impress my Father. I had to embrace things that made me happy, made me feel good with the knowing that he would love me ‘as I am’ and not how I think he would want me to be.

I started to meditate, learn and practice personal development. I would spend hours reading books from people such as Tony Robbins, Ekart Tolle, Robin Sharma, Stuart Wilde to name a few. I did a daily gratitude practice. I would meditate, allow myself to listen to my intuition. I began to write, to travel for pleasure not always work. I was giving myself permission to drop the structure and to go with the flow a bit more. This is where my journey from my masculine energy to embracing my feminine energy began. It was beautiful, magical and so much fun!

I used to actually feel guilty if I took time out. I used to feel like I was being lazy and had no purpose, but now I see that it’s during these times of self love, relaxation and fun that I am actually enabling myself to become my most successful. For me it’s actually a bit scary allowing my feminine energy to come out to play. I am secure in my masculine energy as I feel very much in control. Which is safe and secure but not usually the way to blissful happiness.

Since I have embraced my feminine flow more I have noticed my business branding has gone from a black and white logo with sharp angular edges to the new logo which I have designed that is blue and a soft curve. It fascinates me that as my mindset has changed, my internal world has changed and this has been reflected in my external world. I have attracted the most loving, exciting, energetic, wonderful humans into my life. I am blessed daily with magical experiences. Yes ‘bad things’ still happen but I am so much more at ease when they do. I view them differently. I view failures and problems simply as opportunities to grow. I am grateful for a so called ‘problem’ as I view it as the universe’s way of developing my strength and re-directing me to my true path.

If this resonates with you give yourself permission to explore your masculine and feminine energies. Do you feel more dominant in your masculine or feminine? Do think by embracing one a bit more it may improve your business, health or happiness?

Tony Robbins says ‘If you are going to blame someone for all the bad, you best blame them for all the good things too’. There are aspects of my masculine energy that have maybe limited me in some ways but it has given me the courage and strength to travel the world alone and to set up my own business. My tip is to explore both energies. Balance is key to a healthy happy life. Let yourself flow. Our passions are not coincidences, they are our calling. Take time out to do the things you love. Embrace life and explore both your masculine and feminine energies.

Health & Happiness,

SJ x




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